6 April 2018

10 Things You'll Only Understand if You Work In An Office



If you don't already know, blogging isn't my full time job, heck, it isn't even a part time job. I currently work in the surface finishing sector of aerospace. I was first a planning engineer, but now work in quotations.


I've worked in an office for nearly 4 years now, I'm practically a veteran.


Along the way I've learned all the customs, traditions, etc. of working in an office environment, but I have also realised that trying to talk/moan about these things to people that don't work in a office isn't possible, because they just don't understand our ways...
So, here are 10 things you'll only understand if you work in an office.

The Temperature/Air Con


No one ever seems to be  happy with the temperature in the office.
There's a constant 'war' over the air con, or someone wants the heating on while another wants to open their window.

Will it ever end?



Birthdays


We looooove birthdays...as long as it's not our own.
It's tradition in offices that if it's your birthday, you bring in allll the cakes/sweets for everyone in the office.
That means free yummy food for us, and a small fortune for the birthday girl/boy.




The Weight Gain


Unless you have the willpower of a god, weight gain is inevitable.
It's always someone's birthday, and when it isn't, resisting the urge to snack away at your desk is pretty much impossible.
And while we're on the topic, what's up with people bringing in food that stinks out the whole office? Oh and loud eaters? People that slap their lips while they eat have a special place in hell...


The Christmas Party


Ah, the Christmas party...
People drink too much, possibly embarrass themselves, eat too much, and there may even be a cheeky snog session between those two workers that constantly spend their time flirting with each other.
Plus then there's the next morning at work, everyone is sharing stories and gossip, it's brilliant.



The Kitchen/Canteen


Most offices have some kind of canteen/kitchen where you make your hot drinks, heat up food, sit and eat etc.
And let's be honest, there's always one person that leaves dirty plates/mugs everywhere, never cleans up after themselves and then it always leads to someone leaving some kind of passive aggressive 'please clean up as you go' sign in there.



The Caffeine Addiction


Whether you need it because you're always tired, because you enjoy the taste, or because it helps you get through the day, you are more than likely end up with a caffeine addiction.
That one cup in the morning soon turns into needing at least 5 a day, and when you're sat staring at a computer screen all day, who can blame you?


The Staff/Small Talk


Unless you're a pretty small office, chances are you don't know the names of everyone you work with, and you have a select few that you can actually call your friends.
There can be awkward small talk, but, without fail, regardless of whether you know them or not, you'll be asked 'how was your weekend' hundreds of fucking times every Monday without fail.
"It was brilliant Karen, I had a mental breakdown or 7, sat naked in bed eating shit food and watching shittier crap on Netflix for two days straight. How was yours?"


The Loo Run


You spend on average 8-9 hours a day in your office, so you're gonna end up needing to pee at some point.
So, out comes the sneaky loo check (even though we're all adults here and we all know people pee and poo): who's at their desk? Are they on the loo? Who can I tolerate hearing liquids leave my vagina?
And as for needing a poo...well, that's one of my worst fears.



The Gossips, Bitches & Cliques


If you thought you'd left this shit in high school, you're sorely mistaken.
If you've worked in an office for as long as I have, you know there's always at least one 'office gossip', an 'office bitch', and even a few 'cliques' if you're lucky.
Plus, the people you work with know more, and have seen more, about you than I bet your own family/friends, but will you socialise with them outside of work? Probably not.


The Dreaded Coughs and Sniffles


You know what I'm talking about...
The dreaded cold/flu season. You hear one person coughing their guts up, another sneezing all over their monitor, and you know that you're in a cramped, disease infected room, and once one person falls sick, you'll all be sick within the week.




Ah, the joys of working in an office.

Is there anything I've missed out?
I'd love to hear in the comments!























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4 comments

  1. I feel this! I’ve worked in offices for five years and I can definitely relate to all of these 👏🏻

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  2. Omg I completely get this 😂🙈 I’ve worked in an office for almost 5 months and definitely understand every little thing in this post 😂😂

    Isobel x

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  3. Love this - SO relatable!! I’m in my second office job and I swear, I used to hate coffee but now it’s an actual necessity. I think people who work in offices just all bleed pure black coffee, right?

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  4. This is so true!! I’m back at work on the 26th and I’m dreading all this to go back to!

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