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27 March 2018

A Lil Life Moan


If you follow me on Twitter you probably knew this post was coming, if you don’t, hello dear readers, and welcome to the shit fest that is my life.


It’s been a hot minute since I’ve done a lil life update on here, and to be honest, it’s mainly because it’s going to be full of negativity, ‘woe is me’ stuff, and I don’t think people would want to hear all that.

That was until I realised that I’d be doing that thing where I’m only showing the ‘highlight reel’ of my life if you will, so I thought, not only is this my blog, but why not share all the shit too? Show people that life isn’t always peachy, and there’s a lot more going on behind the ‘gram’ and Twitter.
 

You know those people that always say ‘well your life isn’t that bad, someone else has is worse’ etc etc, yeah I hate those people. If someone is having a crappy time, let them be, would you tell someone that someone else always has it better so they shouldn’t be happy? No. So don’t say it to people that may be struggling.

 

 
Again, if you follow me on Twitter, you’ll know that me and my partner (Dan), have just lost our third home in the past year alone. Yep, fucking fantastic.
 
 
We’ve been living together for two years now, and we still haven’t found a permanent home. Not only is the property ladder bloody hard to get on in the first place, whether your renting or buying, imagine having to do it every six months, and along the way nearly losing your job, definitely losing your mind, and having to cope with money stress and wondering where you’re going to live too.
 Am I feeling sorry for myself? You’re damn right I am.
Honestly, maybe if it was just the home thing, then I wouldn’t be so upset and angry, but the last two years of my life have been an utter shit fest, so it’s just the cherry on top of my ‘one big pile of shit’ (if you get that reference hit me up, we can be besties).
 
I had a rough time in school, bullied for 5 years, family problems, etc. Then I also had a rough time in college, being used isn’t a nice feeling at all. Then I got my first full time job, things were looking up, and then I had a few mental breakdowns, nearly lost Dan, nearly lost my job, ended up choosing whether to pay bills or eat most weeks, and that’s just a little portion of the past two years, there’s a lot more I could moan about, but I think you get the gist.

 
The thing that sucks most about all of this, is that ya girl just can’t catch a bloody break. It’s one thing after another, and even if something does go right, there are 3 bad things to go wrong that will soon follow.
 
If I’ve learned anything through all of this, it’s that life doesn’t care what kind of person you are, they’ll hand you the piles of shit to deal with regardless.
 
 

At least life is unbiased that way, you can be a saint, but you can still have a crap life.

 

 
BUT WAIT, things aren’t all woe is me.
There are a few positives I can pop into this ‘life update’ (I use that term loosely as it’s more just a whole post of me moaning lol)

 
I finally feel like I’m getting my mental health back on track.
I’m not taking medication anymore, and I feel like I can actually get out of bed in the mornings and take on the day, and that’s massive for me.
 
 
 
I am back full time at my job as of next week.
Worrying about money is the worst, and thankfully it won’t be a problem next week as I’ll be back up to working full hours! My work is so happy with the improvements I’ve made in regards to my mental health, they’ve let me go back to full hours a month earlier than planned! *high fives self*
 

So, there you have it, I’m moving back in with my parents, 40 minutes away from Dan as well mind you, BUT I have those two little positives that are at least keeping me going for now.
*she says, give it a week and I’ll be awol from social media due to my 10th mental breakdown this year*

 
I hope life is treating you better than it’s treating me my lovelies, and if it’s not, please never feel guilty over feeling sorry for yourself, you cry, get angry, eat all the shitty food, do whatever it takes to make yourself feel better, and fuck anyone that tells you any different.